Day of the Archangel Uriel

This morning I lit a green candle and offered a prayer.

First for the carriers of the light
Second for the seekers of the light
and thirdly and most importantly for the clueless

May all souls find their way into who they are and home.

Gospel of Thomas

The Fool

silly † naive † fortune cookies † La La La † unabashed † kitten † yawn † tripping clumsy † no-thought † late riser † impetuous † curious † conversation killer † bulldoze † impulsive † spontaneous † playful † surfacey † shallow † pretty lights † sparkly † dazed † glazed with sprinkles on top † drunk † thoughtless † treading † right to the edge † daring † jokester † sprawled out † ice cream licker † sharing lollipops † bare feet † no worries † ignorant † innocent † unknowing † happy † trusting † unwitting sacrifice † sleepy eyes † clever


Did I forget anything?

Dark Night

Stanzas Of The Soul

1. One dark night,
fired with love's urgent longings
- ah, the sheer grace! -
I went out unseen,
my house being now all stilled.

2. In darkness, and secure,
by the secret ladder, disguised,
- ah, the sheer grace! -
in darkness and concealment,
my house being now all stilled.


3. On that glad night,
in secret, for no one saw me,
nor did I look at anything,
with no other light or guide
than the one that burned in my heart.


4. This guided me
more surely than the light of noon
to where he was awaiting me
- him I knew so well -
there in a place where no one appeared.


5. O guiding night!
O night more lovely than the dawn!
O night that has united
the Lover with his beloved,
transforming the beloved in her Lover.


6. Upon my flowering breast
which I kept wholly for him alone,
there he lay sleeping,
and I caressing him
there in a breeze from the fanning cedars.


7. When the breeze blew from the turret,
as I parted his hair,
it wounded my neck
with its gentle hand,
suspending all my senses.


8. I abandoned and forgot myself,
laying my face on my Beloved;
all things ceased; I went out from myself,
leaving my cares
forgotten among the lilies.

-St John of the Cross

I'm not sure what it all means, but it's beautiful.

Becoming the Crocodile

If you stand only on the safety of the banks spearing fish, how can you know the depths of the river? Can you fathom the darkness under a ledge of rock or understand the life of the fish writhing on your spear? You mistake the teeth of the crocodile as the edge of the abyss, but the chasm is more terrible than teeth, and certain.

I fulfill the law and the law demands your blood. I am Sebek the crocodile, the catastrophe, the devourer, the necessity. Impaled on my teeth, you shall be blessed for you will glimpse truth. I am only the secrets of your own dark heart, your lust, your greed, your anger, your flesh, to tear the darkness from your heart. I am the living power of water, the cry that catches in the throat, the sob that shatters stone.

On my teeth you smell the stink of flesh. To you I seem a living horror. But I tell you in truth, I am your own soul and it is with great sorrow that I crush the life you have made. I weep with the loss, but you do not believe. Such destruction is madness you say. You do not understand. Is it madness to cut the wheat so that bread can be made? When you were born into this bright land, did you not weep for the lost dark of the womb? Whether or not you understand the law, you exist because of it.

When you've reached the lips of the great devourer, you are staring into the jaws of creation.


- translation by Normandi Ellis
From The Egyptian Book of the Dead

Lin's new library

Here is a list of all books committed to be sent to Lin. The intent is to avoid Lin having ten copies of "Living Gnosis" by Tau Malachi for instance.

Centering Prayer and inner awakening - Cynthia Bourgeault
Gnostic Gospels - Elaine Pagels
Jesus and the Lost Goddess - Timothy Freke and Peter Gandy
The Koran
The Kybalion

My Vows

I've taken my vows into the Order of Esclarmonde. On September 19th I read them to my wife and have endeavored to practice the rule everyday.

For me this has been one of the grandest adventures of my life and in some sense dangerous; self discovery can always be a little unnerving.

A lot has happened in the last month since I joined the order as far as non-ordinary experiences go. I'm mostly in processing mode, trying to grok or make sense of my understanding of the world. It's amazing how something experienced in five seconds can change the way one looks at reality.

Another thing that is extraordinary is the fact that meditation really works. I mean it works like a freakin recipe book. The results are unpredictable and always unexpected, but the way one sees the world always is subject to change.

I don't consider myself wise by any stretch of the imagination but a movement towards wisdom is the light I follow.